It's definitely butterflies. Like jumping off a high dive, or seeing someone I love, after a very, very long separation. It's like taking a little piece of myself and giving it to someone else.
Creating makes you vulnerable.
And more than that, sharing past creations bares you to the world.
Sometimes we want people to see us for who we are now, or who we want to be in the future, instead of who we were before.
I always try to look forward in creating, to build up from where I started. But sometimes I have to look back and remember where I've been.
I met Tessa my first year at BYU. This beautiful, spunky girl with a shining smile often crossed paths with me, as we were dating two roommates in Felt Hall. Looking back on those carefree days, we truly thought we had it all figured out. But life took us down very different roads than we planned that year. She went to Germany and met her husband there, and I went through a whirlwind couple of years in the meantime.
When we sat on her bed and looked at flowers together, our conversation also drifted through those days in Heritage Halls and all of the internal struggles of "figuring it out." And how sometimes your best laid plans just don't end up determining the way your life goes. Our stories shared so many similarities, and she understood. Not only did I love putting her flowers together, but because we talked that day, a little bit of my internal whirlwind resolved. She is in Germany again, but I will always remember her beautiful best day.
4.27.2013
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